Confession

I am addicted to photography, and not just the taking of pictures, but the looking at, the editing of, and the digital compilation of said pictures into cute albums.  What I wish I had:

1. a nice SLR camera with an actual lens, not just my little digital point and shoot, although its been good to me, and its pink, which I love
2. some kind of formal training with photoshop, because sometimes picnik just gets boring
3. any talent at all with scrapbooking... I think I'm too indecisive (with a splash of plain and simple UNcreativity) to be really good at it (hence the reason I've resorted to digital scrapbooking, because my options are limited, and I can fix it a million times)
4. a knack for uniqueness - I've always been awesome at reproducing other work, but coming up with something new out of thin air?  ha.  Specifically, seeing inanimate objects from a new perspective, and thinking of new ways for people to pose are my weak points.  I'm a self-professed hater of tree pictures... you know what I'm talking about!

oh, and maybe one more, a little bit of confidence.  Because that's the real root of my indecisiveness (does this look good?  does it look better this way?  which one?  what do YOU think?  I don't know what I'm doing.)  ugh I frustrate myself.  Wow, what a revealing post.  At least I'm not lacking in passion.  :o)

thoughts on love

Most of you know at least a little about our love story, since it is one of our favorites to tell.  Yep, we're pretty unique, or maybe just stupid for not getting married the first time.  At least we found our 'happily ever after' despite taking the long way around.  In the spirit of the holiday I wanted to share a song.

Brad Paisley has produced some of my favorite love songs in the whole entire world, isn't he fabulous?  I swear they can all make me cry.  Anyway, this is a song that really helped me through that hard time when Zach and I weren't together or even talking anymore.  As with any messy break-up and behind all the hard feelings I wondered if he completely hated my guts and really didn't love me anymore.  At the time I didn't really know this to be true for myself, but as the song says, "just have faith and you will see..."  I found so much hope in this message.  Now these lyrics speak to me even more because I know them to be true!  Love really is never-ending, no matter how much time has passed or how impossible it may seem.  I can't find exactly the right words to explain, but this song means a lot to me.  Hope you like.  :o)  And happy valentine's day to all you lovers!



Seasons come and seasons go
One day sun, the next day snow
Flowers die and flowers grow
But love is never-ending

You can't kill it with goodbye
It always finds a place to hide
Inside your heart for your whole life
Love is never-ending

[Chorus]
When the lights have all gone down
It'll still be hangin' 'round
Even when you think it's lost, it can still be found
When every memory has been made
And the pages start to fade
And every prayer you ever prayed is heaven bound
When you think the ride is over
You're back at the beginning
Love is never-ending

When a man and woman start growin' old
The fire of passion may grow cold
But what they got still warms their soul
Love is never-ending

[Repeat chorus]

It keeps goin' on and on
Long after we're all gone away

Time may change what you believe
But one day the truth will set you free
Just have faith and you will see
Love is never-ending
Love is never-ending

I reeeeeeally love my valentine.

Zach has been b e g g i n g me for a PS3 for longer than I can really remember... obviously we could not afford a $300-$400 game system.  I did tell him he could get one if he paid for it with his own plasma money, but we haven't had any extra cash from that either.  Zach is a regular plasma donor and he was deferred from donating for 30 days because of elevated something levels in his blood (I don't remember), which we think is a result of him starting to work out again.

Today I checked the mail and was laughing because I got a customer coupon for the President's Day sale at RCWilley, where I just started working a couple weeks ago.  Anyway it turned into another conversation about a PS3, even though the coupon doesn't apply to gaming systems.  Zach begged me some more and then came the negotiation.  I can't believe I gave in, but I did, as an early Valentine's Day present.  Here is what Zach negotiated:

• the PS3 will go on a 6 months no interest plan so that he can start donating plasma again this Saturday to pay for it (yes he calculated exactly what he will have to pay to have it paid off in 6 months)
• he will clean the ENTIRE house top to bottom by the end of next week, including our bedroom which is always the last thing to get clean.  If you saw our house right now you'd know what a feat that really is
• the game system will be turned off by the time I get home tonight so that we can spend some time together
• I get some new shoes from Target that I asked for (instead of flowers, which would honestly be more expensive anyway!  what a waste!)
• we will go shopping tomorrow to look for some reasonably priced nicer work clothes for me

And some other little extras, such as he won't hold it over my head that he cleaned the entire house, he won't complain or try to rush me when we go shopping tomorrow, and all the extra plasma cash AND work tips that he gets after he makes the payments will go to me, so that it won't get spent.  (Don't make the mistake of assuming I am the financially smart one of the two of us... its more like I just forget that I ever have cash, so... no problem there!)  And finally, if any of these things aren't honored, the PS3 goes back until he follows through.

Ok... what have I done, really?  I'm never going to see him again.  Should I get this in writing?!

called to serve...

I have been trying to think of something worth posting about SINCE it has been over a week since my last post and I generally blog an average of 4 times a month.  I sound like an obsessed weirdo I know, but I just felt it was due.  Unfortunately we really haven't done anything worth mentioning of late.  But I read my friend Katherine's blog and remembered I DO have some news!  She posted about being released from her calling.  But we just got called to a new one.  And guess what it is???
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Sunday School teachers.  Gospel Doctrine teachers, to be exact.  Intimidating since we are not even in a student ward but a family ward with people much older and wiser than us.  This, and cub scouts, were the callings I said I definitely didn't want when we got a call from the bishopric asking us to come in.  (I didn't say that to the bishopric... you know what I mean.)  I literally laughed when they extended the call!  I have a knack for always knowing what my calling will be before I get it.  But of course we accepted.  Today was our first lesson and it went reasonably well.  You'd think it would be easier to teach an organized lesson with two people but it was actually really awkward to juggle back and forth.  I'm so grateful to have Zach with me though or I would have been WAY more nervous.

We were set apart after church and our blessings were both really nice.  It made me excited and I felt really good about this being what we need right now.  I know this calling will be a huge blessing, and challenge, for both of us.  First one down though.

Lesson quote of the moment:

• “Many of you have heavy hearts because a son or daughter, husband or wife, has turned from righteousness to pursue evil. My message is for you.
  
• “Your life is filled with anguish, pain, and, at times, despair. I will tell you how you can be comforted by the Lord.
  
• “First, you must recognize two foundation principles:
  
• “1. While there are many things you can do to help a loved one in need, there are some things that must be done by the Lord.
  
• “2. Also, no enduring improvement can occur without righteous exercise of agency. Do not attempt to override agency. The Lord himself would not do that. Forced obedience yields no blessings (see D&C 58:26–33).
  
• “I will suggest seven ways you can help.
  
• “First, love without limitations. … Second, do not condone the transgressions, but extend every hope and support to the transgressor. … Third, teach truth. … Fourth, honestly forgive as often as is required. … Fifth, pray trustingly. ‘The … fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much’ (James 5:16). …
  
• “Sixth, keep perspective. … When the things you realistically can do to help are done, leave the matter in the hands of the Lord and worry no more. Do not feel guilty because you cannot do more. Do not waste your energy on useless worry. … In time, you will feel impressions and know how to give further help. You will find more peace and happiness, will not neglect others that need you, and will be able to give greater help because of that eternal perspective. …
  
• “One last suggestion—Never give up on a loved one, never!”
  
  -Elder Richard G. Scott