welcome to the world sweet girl!

Does anybody actually want to hear about the birth story, or is that totally cliche?  I don't know.  But I did want to get this down in writing for myself, so here it is.  And in lots of detail.

Baby was due Thursday June 2 and I was counting down the days, but an early birth wasn't looking too promising.  I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday afternoon May 24th.  They had been checking me each week for a while and every time it was the same, I was dilated to a "fingertip" which I guess is even less than 1.  The doctor I met with that day said that due to my somewhat high blood pressure, he would like to strip my membranes to get things started, but I wasn't dilated enough for him to be able to.  I hadn't felt any painful contractions yet either so it seemed like I was still a ways out and they sent me home like normal, although he did ask me to come back on Friday afternoon.

The timing was funny because that night I went to bed as usual, and just a couple of hours later I literally woke up from contractions, which had never happened before.  It wasn't unbearable, but they hurt enough that I actually couldn't sleep through them.  Zach woke up too, probably because I was wriggling in pain, and was of course overly concerned when I told him I was having contractions.  I told him it wasn't anything to be worried about yet and somehow after a couple of hours I was able to fall back asleep.  I still had work the next day and I was exhausted.

Zach and my mother in law convinced me to call the OB the next morning and tell them what had happened to see if they could check me again, in hopes that I would be dilated enough to strip the membranes.  I managed to get an appointment to have them check my blood pressure, which (of course) wasn't high at the moment, and I hadn't dilated much more so no luck.  I continued having contractions irregularly that day and Thursday, and I was anxious for my appointment on Friday.

Thursday morning I went to work for a half day and was off by 2:30.  That night the contractions got particularly bad, at 9:30 they were only about every half hour but were making me nauseous.  At some point I showered, which helped (although later I regretted it because I had wanted to have my hair curled and done for when baby got here and wasn't able to do it since I was in pain! shallow, I know)  Around 11 PM I was in enough pain that I was gripping the back of the couch when they came, which was about once every 8 or 10 minutes.  Zach asked if I wanted to go to the hospital, and I kept telling him no because they didn't seem to be that regular and I didn't want to be sent home.  But he convinced me to go, arguing that clearly neither one of us was going to be getting any sleep and we might as well go in and have them check me, and that we were either going to be not-sleeping there, or at home!

So we got to the hospital right around midnight (now Friday the 27th) and they checked me into a room, started an IV and hooked me up to the monitors.  When they checked me I was only dilated to about a 2, so the nurse said they wanted me to wait for an hour and then they would check again.  Of course I was praying for progress but didn't actually expect that I would get to stay.  At that point as long as they gave me something for the pain I was okay either way!  The contractions by now were getting stronger and were actually about every 5 minutes apart.  After an hour I was dilated to what the nurse called "two and a wiggle" (man it is defeating when you are in pain and progress is so slow!) so she called the doctor to see what he wanted to do.

From then on it is a little bit of a blur because I was really in a lot of pain at that point.  I know I was trying so hard not to be a wuss about it, but I actually got to the point of tears -like actual crying in pain- (which was embarrassing in front of the nurse) and then I tried to get out of bed because I was seriously about to throw up!  Zach quickly convinced me to stay where I was since I was hooked up to numerous machines and had the nurse bring me a bag.  She did give me some morphine which she and Zach both promised would help since I am a bit of a lightweight when it comes to drugs, but it actually made me incredibly sleepy and didn't help much with the pain.  I would be falling asleep in between contractions but couldn't sleep through them.

Thankfully the anesthesiologist arrived to save the day, I think it was sometime around 3 AM.  Zach laughed as he held me up for the epidural because I told him (with eyelids shut, I'm sure) "I just can't... be... awake."  And he gets a real kick out of seeing me on any kind of drug for some reason.  The epidural was a breeze, not that I cared at that point, and once it took effect I was in heaven... after the pain was gone the morphine took over completely and I slept harder than probably ever before in my life for a solid 3 hours (aside from them checking me every so often which I very vaguely remember).  It felt soooo good!

I woke up sometime after 6 AM and Zach told me I had had some really strong contractions while I was asleep, according to the monitor, which was great news.  I was still a bit woozy but in MUCH better spirits.  A nurse checked me again at about 6:40 and accidentally broke my water (that was one thing I was actually a little bummed I couldn't feel.  Just because I was curious) At some point I was given pitocin, but they stopped it since the baby's heart rate was dropping with every contraction.  The nurses tried for a while to monitor the baby's heart rate super closely.  I was worried just seeing their faces!  We watched the monitors in silence through the contractions as the numbers dropped... what a scary feeling.  They wanted me to be fully dilated so that we could get the baby out, but I was "stuck" at 9 for a long time and so they didn't want me to push yet.  In fact around 10:30 AM I was at a 9 and Zach's mom, who had jumped on the first flight out that morning, was praying that she would make it in time for baby.  She wasn't getting in until 12:30 and then had to come all the way down from the airport.  I didn't think she would make it but I was at 9 for so long I started to think her chances were pretty good.  The doctor tried to move the baby around to see if it would provide any relief for her but it only helped a little.  Finally he told me to go ahead and start pushing and we would see how it went, but that I may need to consider forceps or even a c-section if we couldn't get the baby out safely.

I pushed for about an hour and a half, I was so determined not to have a c-section if I could help it that I was even more motivated.  I am telling you the epidural saved my life.  In between contractions the atmosphere was so relaxed, just Zach, the nurse, and my sister in law Tashina were there to help me, and we would chat until I thought I could feel a contraction coming on and then I would push through it.  They were such great cheerleaders!  They told me she had lots of black hair and I almost didn't believe them.  It was so surreal that it was happening but at 1:13 PM, finally she was here!  What an overwhelming feeling.  (We found out the cord was wrapped around her neck, the reason for her heart rate dropping, thankfully everything was okay.)  Zach's mom and sister came running in as they were cleaning her up, 5 minutes too late!  Such is life sometimes.

But we were all so happy.  I was frustrated though that everyone kept asking me what her name was, and I hadn't even gotten to see her yet!  They held her up for a quick second and I touched her tiny little foot and then they whisked her away.  She was over in the corner getting cleaned up and everyone was huddled around taking pictures so I couldn't even see from a distance.  Zach's first remarks were something along the lines of "Honey, she's so cute!!!  She doesn't even look weird!"  He was very concerned that we would have an alien-looking little conehead, so he was relieved, haha!  Aside from Zach I just felt like she was MY baby and I wanted to see her and hold her before everybody else.  And I definitely couldn't choose a name without seeing her.  But finally I got to hold her and we (mostly me) decided on Brynlie Ella.  I love this sweet little angel... I just can't seem to get over how blessed we have been through this whole experience!  I am so so grateful for her, for Zach, and for the whole experience, it's sometimes hard not to just break down and cry when I think about it!  I love our new family and this precious little girl so much.

she still "prays" like this all the time...

...literally an angel